Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Awards
Folks, I’m not gonna lie. It’s been a while. Life gets crazy and the vending machine oompa loompas don’t provide. For many reasons, it’s been longer than usual. That being said, I think we’ve found a special bile-in-the-back-of-your-throat winner with this week’s award recipient…
Barbeque… you almost can’t say it without salivating a little. We all have great memories of warm weather (remember warm weather??), corn on the cob, barbeque grills and potato salad! Today, however, we have an exception. This chunk-a-delic masterpiece just wants to make you rethink your obligation to the gods of the grill and stay in the cold air just a bit longer!
Because you may not be able to see it in this picture, I’m going to point out one of the funniest things … listed as the first ingredient… “soy”. Say whaaaa??? Shouldn’t the first ingredient be… oh I don’t know… ribs?!?! It’s like saying “Let’s fry chicken” and throwing a Hershey bar into the pot?! What gives you crazy people from Warren, Ohio?! Apparently in your crazy world rules just don’t apply!!
To go with this week’s Barbeque Soy-burger-rib-thing, I’m recommending Four Vines “The Sophisticate” Zinfandel. This rustic red will make even the most pleasant hybrid sandwich taste better! Touches of boysenberry, vanilla and butterscotch make this unusual wine just lively enough to make the meal worthwhile!
When you’re pairing beer and ribs, the choices are endless… even if the ribs are made of soy. So this week our beer is Old Chub Scotch Ale from the Oskar Blues Brewery! It’s smoky! It’s chocolaty! It’s beech wood-smoked! And really, do we need to say more?! Something has to wash this bad boy down…
So this week when you’re considering all the options the vending universe has at its disposal, consider the Barbeque Soy burger of questionable happiness and possibly ill tidings. If nothing else, the person that packaged it probably had a rib!!
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