Welcome to a special Halloween edition of the Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Awards! This week we have a couple cryptacular specials served up with a cadaverous dessert! From the bowels of hell (also known as Warren, Ohio), today we give you…
Salisbury steak is an ambiguous thing at best. Much like Frankenstein’s monster, it’s made up of parts. We won’t get into which ones, we’ll just leave it there. This nice grey slab of pre-formed morbid meatiness just stares back at you from inside the box of doom – watching… waiting… potatoes and gravy on the side! If you look closely, I think you might even see a mushroom or two peeking from behind the label.
Our club sandwich is piled high with cheese and pieces of greying meats served with a packet of mayo. I’m not sure what kind of meats are in the club, but it wears its Halloween disguise well by being mysterious!
Ok, cheesecake, not gross, but it maintains an air of foreboding just by the fact that it’s served up in vending machine form. We’ll just call this one “screamy, creamy cheesecake” and ponder how long ago it was actually baked.
Wine Pairing: A ghoulish meal deserves an equally ghoulish wine! This week, for obvious reasons, our choice is the Ghostly White Chardonnay from Elk Creek Vineyards. Apparitions of apple and citrus bring just enough flavor to wake the dead and make them dance a little!
Beer Pairing: A supernatural stout to slake your thirst for this week’s fright fest is Dead Guy Ale from Rogue Brewery. This hoppy, full-bodied ale has hints of fruit and, fortunately, no hints of actual dead guy, but certainly casts enough of a spell to be a great match for our otherworldly delights!
So tonight as you dispense your own treats and contemplate the macabre and the mysterious, we hope you’ll also consider the phantom machine of eerie snacks and bizarre delights! You may just find your own tricks or treats!!
These crazy vending machine fans have really thrown down the gauntlet with their creative costumes!!! I like that the little dude on the end seems to only charge one price for everything, but the others have a bit more variety. Way to go vendites!!! Way to commit!!