Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Awards
In our newest installment of vending machine faire, we take a look at a subject that fascinates many… twins! As people, we like things in pairs and with a certain amount of symmetry. And hey, if something is good, why settle for one? Why not have two!? In an interesting turn of events, Warranties have taken up this mantle and have delivered into our culinary custody a dynamic duo of epic epicurean proportions. For this week’s selection from Ohio and parts beyond, I give you…
I admit, when I saw this enticing entree in the vending machine, I was a little nauseous. If this pasty package didn’t have a label on it, I would have had no idea what it was. It reminds me of an alien autopsy movie I saw once. Kinda fuzzy, kinda oval shapes… possibly some suspicious medical waste.. At best It looks like one of those pieces of modern art that you look at and think “what the hell is it?!” A bunch of shapes and colors. Somebody’s three year old went nuts with the crayons or something.. Anyway, what we apparently have here are 2 pieces of pizza (cut into squares) with what looks to be a slice of mozzarella melted over the top, red sauce and possibly some banana peppers. Either that or the pizza has a tape worm. In the grand scheme of vending machine meals, this one certainly is near the peak of the list for grossest! The topper is the building condensation adding moisture to what may once have been a crispy pizza.
For a dish this distinctive, you’ll need something good enough to wash it down with, but not something so strong that it flips your stomach into oblivion. Our recommendation is a Stickybeak Syrah. Edgy and vibrant, but still medium bodied, this wine is spicy with touches of cedar and pepper, but yet sweet with a mix of fresh berries. With any luck, it will enhance your dining experience.
As an interesting twist, our beer pairing is light and citricy! Dundee Summer Shandy is a unique mix of lager and lemon, just tart enough without being too over powering, but also just the right flavor to twist up to those banana peppers! Thanks to the Brewmeister for another awesome recommendation!
So, if you are feeling adventurous and want to live on the edge, hop on down to the vending machine of magical mystery and try your luck with these crazy twins! You just might get lucky (and not e coli!)