Boneless Chicken Wings & Hot Wings

 Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Awards

This week we pay another tribute to that King of the Vending Machine, the chicken.  The beloved and benevolent chicken has given us a great many gifts over the many weeks of gross items.  I wait for the day that I walk by the machine of tricks and treats and see an actual chicken hanging out in there (or at least a rubber one!)  If there’s an edible part, limb, organ or appendage that the chicken can sacrifice in the interest of new and exciting cuisine, it’s been featured in our happy machine!  Gotta love our fine feathered friend!  The chicken provides us with more excitement in the realm of appetizers and crudités than any other critter today!  For this week’s double winner, I give you…

Boneless Chicken Wings & Hot Wings


This is one of those moments where you put your money in the slot and hold your breath!  If you watch closely, there’s always a chance that the machine might drop both of these bad boys in your lap!  Could Friday be THAT special?!  Double wings for the price of one?!  Hey, it could happen!  Dreams occasionally come true, which is proven by these fine products kindly bestowed upon us by the legends of Warren, Ohio!  Hot Wings!  Spicy treats!  And Pigskin Classics Boneless Chicken Wings!  Yummy!  Good eatin’ and finger lickin’!

Wine Pairing:  Chicken wings are pretty agreeable with almost any wine.  Our recommendation for the week is the Frog’s Leap Zinfandel, all the way from Napa Valley.  This flavorful wine accents our wings with hints of cinnamon, cloves and cranberries.  A nice hearty red for a nice plate of hot and boneless wings!

Beer Pairing:  This week our wings would pair well with the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.  Light and crisp, this ale is a swell combination and just the right hints of spice and flavor to make for some happy dining.  Chicken and beer!  A match made in heaven!

When you go off in search of fine vending machine dining this week, stop to honor the sacrifice of our friend the chicken and consider one of these two fine options!  Not to do so would just be fowl!


Egg Salad Sandwedge

Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Awards

In the world of quick and on-the-go, you can’t help but occasionally wonder “why can’t someone give me something in a vending machine sandwich that is tasty, light and at no risk what so ever of me contracting salmonella or having excessive flatulence.”  Well, the fine folks in Warren, Ohio have responded, as they so often do, and have given us this week’s winner….

Egg Salad Sandwedge

 When I stop at the vending machine of faith and deliverance, there’s always that brief moment of anticipation while I take in all the contents and contemplate the grossness factor therein.  This week, I was particularly in awe of our winner, egg salad on whole wheat bread.  Nothing says “good vending food” like eggs, mayonnaise and wheat bread.  Yummy!  It’s just the right sandwich to shake things up with some good, intestinal turbulence!  But wait!  The label tells us this is a “new recipe”!  Who knew there was more than one way to put eggs and mayonnaise together?!  Just amazing stuff here!

Wine Pairing: With our eggs, why not a Beaujolais?  This week’s wine is the Laboure Roi Beaujolais Billages St. Armand all the way from France.  This fruity wine is a surprising light red with just the right flavor palate of grapes, spices and cherries.  A nice, light wine for our tasty, potential bacteria producing science experiment sandwedge.

 Beer Pairing:  Eggs and beer!  Yes!  Delicious!  Delightful!  Not a good way of impressing your co-workers.  This is certainly something you want to factor in as your make your dining selection this week.  In case you decide to be brave and possibly have excellent control of your gastrointestinal faculties, than we suggest the Sam Adams Coastal Wheat beer.  Hints of citrus and lemons are just a pleasant, light blend to go along with egg salad!  We’ve previously issued warnings that there are certain foods you may only want to consume if you sit in a lesser-occupied area of the office.  This is another one of those times.  Don’t say we didn’t warn you…

 So, in plotting your dining opportunities for this fine Friday, stop and consider the potential of a good egg salad sandwedge.  Yet another gift from the fine chicken and our friends in Warren! 

Italian Stromboli Roll & Steak Siciliano

Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Awards

In keeping with the Italian theme, this week we have two more Italian dishes duking it out for the title of gross item. Our friends in Warren, Ohio have decided to do their own version of study abroad with these cheesy gifts from afar! This week I give you…

Italian Stromboli Roll & Steak Siciliano


What could be better in the course of your tedious day than to have the options of this fine fare from the vending machine of interest and international intrigue! Fancy cheeses! Fancy meats! Fancy rolls!! I’m totally plotzing over here!! Gonna be a great day, folks!

Wine Pairing: You’d think this week’s wine would be a red, but no no! We’re shaking things up and thinking out of the wine crate on this one! This week our recommendation is the Waterbrook Mélange Blanc. Honey, fruit, vanilla and a flash of nutmeg (yes, a flash!) make this a tasty wine and yet the difference of the pallet to our entrees is still a bit complementary to one other. Ever try those “Sweet & Salty” granola bars? Same thing, good stuff, certainly good drinkin’!

Beer Pairing: While again using the idea of the whole “sweet and salty” thing, our beer recommendation this week is for Killian’s Irish Red. This caramel/toffee-esque beer might just be the right accent for our Italian brothers.

This week when you’re hankin’ for a touch of something different, consider one of these two fine international options! Can our Friday get any better?

By the way….
Did you know that enough people die from falling out of bed or getting a snack out of a vending machine that these things qualify as death statistics? Each year vending machines topple over and crush about 10-13 people. Death by snacking! Watch your backs folks! Sometimes the folks in Warren strike back!!

Italian Grinder

Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Awards
** Summer Tour 2012 **

In the 80’s there was a popular movie called “Dirty Dancing”. All that bumpin’ and grinding just worked everyone up into a frenzy and people just got so excited! Well, this week’s winner is liable to have a similar effect! Prepare to have your taste buds dancin’ with this week’s special gift from those vending machine jitterbuggers of Warren, Ohio:

The Italian Grinder

This meaty bad boy is so hot and sultry that he’s fogging up the cellophane! Hot capicola ham, pepperoni, salami and provolone cheese give us all the spicy beef we can handle on this hard core hoagie! Nobody puts this baby in a corner!

Wine pairing: This week’s wine is the Hartford Court Fog Dance Pinot Noir. Fragrant cherries, roses and cinnamon with just a hint of allspice make this unusual wine a good blend for something as beefy as the Italian grinder.

Beer pairing: Today’s grinder must be paired with a beer from the oldest brewery in the US. Why? Because I say so! Yuengling light lager is the perfect match for our grinder with a touch of wheat, rice and just a bit of malt. Not overpowering, but a nice, complimentary blend.

This week when contemplating your luncheon options, shake and shimmy on down to the vending machine of rock n’ roll and consider this week’s winner: the Italian grinder!

PS: For those of you astute and intellectual-type people who are dedicated followers to the VMGIOTWA’s, yes I missed last week and am late this week. All the kiddies have come back to campus and bedlam and chaos have ensued. Lost ID’s, sobbing mothers, shell-shocked children with no social skills – they’re all here and we’re all busy. I haven’t forgotten and am hoping this year that our wonderful blog will be better than ever. Remember: if you’re out and about and come across something interesting in the world of vending machines and/or products, send me a picture! It’s a whole sub-culture that we’re ever anxious to explore and share with all you enlightened folks! Bon Appetite’!