Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Awards
** Summer Tour 2012 **
Upon visiting the refrigerated vending machine of awe and mystery this week, I was shocked to find it virtually empty with a note taped to the front. Apparently the fine folks in Warren, Ohio have decided to give us a big old middle finger for the summer by leaving our machine empty, save for a muffin and a 5 hour energy drink! Bastards!! But, fear not! The note they left sent us on a magical scavenger hunt with directions to another local machine on-site that is filled with all the magic and pixie dust that we have come to embrace as the Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week! Well played Warren, Ohio! So this summer we’re goin’ on tour! Pack your mule and grab your camera as we venture out into parts (and buildings) unknown for this week’s gross item!!
FRIED BOLOGNA SANDWICH
Bologna, the truest form of mystery meat, pan fried, slathered in mayo and slapped on a bun with some cheese is the top-shelf culinary prize that awaits us this week. What’s in bologna? Does anyone really know? When was this sandwich pan fried? During the reign of Henry the 8th? Who knows! All we know is that it has magically come together for us wrapped in pretty, crinkly cellophane paper and can be solely yours for the meager asking price of $2!! TGIF indeed!!
Our fine fried bologna can best be matched with Jimmy’s Red Farmhouse Ale. This light amber ale has just the right mix of hops and candied orange flavor to accent all the right tones of our deliciously fried bologna. Good eatin’ right there!
Our wine choice with this magnificent entree would be the Saint Clair Vicar’s Choice Sauvignon Blanc 2011. Crispy notes of grapefruit, passion fruit and black currant will mingle quite well with this week’s exotic, tasty treat from far off vending machines!
So this week when you need to get out, enjoy the fresh air, and venture off for snacks and unusual vittles, enjoy the tour and check out the Fried Bologna Sandwich! You won’t be disappointed!