Mozzarella Sticks with Marinara Sauce

Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Award

This week’s savory dish is actually more likely to be found on the “Appetizer” area of any restaurant menu. If it’s breaded and fried cheese you crave with a zesty red dip-able sauce, than hold onto your hats and napkins because here comes this week’s winner….

Mozzarella Sticks with Marinara Sauce

While this is not the grossest thing I think we’ve ever found in the refrigerated vending machine of love and happy treats, it’s certainly is one of the more unusual! I think of it in terms of what will those breaded, crispy sticks look like when you’ve microwaved them into submission? Tasty and gooey? Maybe… Soggy? You betcha! Somehow the folks at the Chef’s Cuisine’s home office in Warren, Ohio feel that this is just the right type of pick-me-up option when considering microwavable snack treats. What’s something the kids will enjoy? Damp cheese, of course!
Wine paring: With a cross between tropical fruit, honey and smoky flavors, a white Pinot Grigio is our recommendation to buddy up with our gooey appetizer snack treats. Nothing knocks back a pile of dipped mozz sticks better than a crisp white!

Beer paring: What could be better with our sticks than a nice malty chocolate stout? If it’s a match made in vending machine heaven you’re looking for, then pair our snack with Dominion Black & Tan ale. With just the right amount of body and bitterness, Black & Tan is a good fit for this gift from the vending machine gods!

Three cheers for monster microwavable mozzarella sticks! A true classic for any event!


Genesis: Hot Wings with Blue Cheese Dressing

Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Award

In the bible, the book of Genesis starts with “In the beginning…” I mention this because this week’s winner was truly the origin and the beginning for the Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Awards. In November 2011 I offered a food life-line to a friend by mentioning our office was the recipient of a home-made pumpkin pie. I told him “I like to offer since apparently the only thing you have access to is vending machine chicken wings!” This one line has since spawned a series of delightful culinary e-mails about our dear friends in Warren, Ohio and the delectable treats they continue to bestow upon us on a weekly basis. It’s amazing our winner has not made the list so far (as has been pointed out to me), BUT, at some point we must all pay tribute to our roots and at the very beginning of it all there was…

Hot Wings with Blue Cheese Dressing

This week “Chef’s Cuisine” has presented us with a delightful romp into the culinary realm with a dish that suffers from multiple-personality disorder. Is it an entrée? Is it an appetizer? The answer to either question is “Yes!” With its own roots in the Buffalo, NY Anchor Bar, this tasty dish has made its home in the happy vending machine of love even as far back as November and quite frequently since. Savory fried wings and a plastic packet of blue cheesy goodness! It just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy!

Wine paring: A nice aromatic wine to pair with our hot wings is Funf German Riesling. With origins in the Rhein and Mosel river valleys, this apple/peach/pear nectar of the gods is a great blend with our hot wings! It’s citrus and tropical nuances are just enough to off-set the spicy cheesiness of a nice pile of once-fried microwaved chicken!

Beer paring: Our official (and anonymous) Beermeister has given us another high-five, hand-slappin’ match this week with Blue Moon beer. Brewed in Montreal, this unfiltered wheat beer has an orange and coriander, slightly sweet flavor and has actually been known to be served with an orange slice! All-in-all, a nice accent to our hot wings!

Embrace your origins! Embrace Hot Wings with Blue Cheese!!

Coney Island Hot Dog

Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Award

Grab the kids and come on down to the refrigerated machine of festive joy and bounty! This week we’re serving up a grand ole’ time with this vending machine gross item…

Coney Island Hot Dog

According to the brain-trust experts at Wikipedia, the Coney Island Dog has nothing to do with Coney Island, but instead has its origins in Jackson, Michigan (hey, I don’t make the news people, I just report it!) This beefy hot dog is typically topped with a bean-less chili, diced onions and mustard, sometimes cheese. Our dog keeps its contents a mystery and doesn’t tell you what the reddish substance on the dog is, but clearly we’re talkin’ pure mindboggling delectation! Anything that nasty looking has to be good, right??

Wine Paring: We’re going top shelf with this week’s paring! Our Coney Island dog deserves nothing but the best! Krug multi-vintage Grand Cuvee Champaign is just the right touch! Fermented in small oak casks that gives this champagne the right personality and dimension as well as a nutty and bold taste, it’s a match made in vending machine heaven for our happy little dog. It’s like the really nice guy that takes the ugly girl to the prom… a great match, a win-win and a happily ever after! Sell the movie rights and cast Anne Hathaway!

Beer Paring: I have it on good authority from our Beermeister that the perfect beer for this is the Brooklyn Pilsner! With “crisp, snappy bitterness and fresh, floral aroma”, this golden lager is the perfect companion to our Coney Island Dog! Even though our dog might not actually be from Coney Island, a Brooklyn Pilsner makes them soul mates!

Embrace the “danger” that is the dog!! Coney Island, that is!!

Chopped Beefsteak Sandwich with A1 Steak Sauce

Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Award

Even though it is Friday, I just couldn’t pass us the saucy allure of this week’s winner. The folks in Warren, Ohio have bestowed on us yet another gem in the crown of great beefy sandwiches with this savory masterpiece. Their culinary creativity knows no boundaries with this week’s winner….

Chopped Beefsteak Sandwich with A1 Steak Sauce

3.55 ounces of beef on a sesame seed bun with your very own personal packet of A1 sauce (which, as the label reminds us, should be removed BEFORE you nuke your entrée lest it explode.) It’s like the old boxes of Cracker Jack where you got a prize inside! It’s just all very exciting!

Brought to you by Pierre, this tasty blend of beef and sauce will just hit the spot and leave you with just the right amount of indigestion. Not too little or too much… just right! Good times, folks!

The vending machine gods have spoken! Get sauced with the Chopped Beefsteak Sandwich!

Speaking of getting sauced, today’s wine pairing for this slender gem of meaty goodness can be none other than a spicy, bold Red Zinfandel. With flavors of raspberry, plums and raisins, this wine will not only blend with the beef, but also enhance your special A1 packet. Just enough to choke down this vending machine refrigerated dish!

BBQ Beef Sandwich

Vending Machine Gross Item of the Week Award

Our winner this week comes to us from the American South West (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.) It’s Sweet! It’s Sassy! It’s Saucy! It’s BBQ! And apparently, it’s Beef! This week’s award is bestowed upon that All-American favorite…

BBQ Beef Sandwich

Once again the folks at the home office in Warren, Ohio have outdone themselves with this tasty morsel of meaty goodness! My favorite part of the wrapper is the proclamation of “New! All Beef!” Apparently we’re lucky because the “old” sandwich wasn’t “all beef”. AND the word “beef” appears twice on the label. They really want us to know it’s true! There is truth in advertising! Truly it’s a good time to be alive and partaking in the bounty that is our refrigerated vending machine of happiness! Every week it continues to bestow it’s blessings upon us with questionable meaty treats.

This week when you have a hankerin’ for some sweet BBQ goodness, wrestle yourself up an All-Beef BBQ Beef Sandwich!

Wine paring: You need look no further for the perfect wine to go with your BBQ Beef than a Cabernet Sauvignon. This harmonic combination will create the perfect meal with its blended flavors of dark cherries and complex notes of clove and vanilla. Also, being a dark red, it’s known for its health benefits! Good stuff!

Whoa Nellie! Now that’s some good eatin’!